Pay R315 for one-hour Closed Capsule Epsom Flotation Hydro Session and a half-hour of one of three massages with Ubuntu Wellness, valued at R700 (save 55%)

During stressful situations, it’s usually not pizza or a really good guitar solo people want – it’s water; whether it’s a longing to hit the waves at some beach in the Bahamas or climbing into a bubble-bath at the end of a long day. Find out what H20 can really do during a one hour of Closed Capsule Epsom Flotation Hydro Session with Ubuntu Wellness, followed by thirty minutes of one of three massages for R315.

Like computers and Magic-8 balls there are some things that just work, even though most people don’t understand exactly why. Using heated water and the kind of salt you don’t put on your French-fries to reduce stress, pain and other things that people don’t enjoy about life, Floatation Therapy is one of those things. Without anything to react to, your body forgets to release things like adrenalin or other chemicals that cause stress; almost like climbing into that bubble-bath but without the sound of the neighbour’s garage band or someone slamming cupboard doors to ruin the peace.

Considering that the hypersalinated water holds your body weight, it could also be compared to floating around in space, without having to dodge asteroids. Not only do stress and little aches seem to vanish quicker than Houdini, the treatment is also said to improve scientific, artistic and sporting performance; though it’s unlikely to make you the next Einstein or Picasso.

Once your body has been flooded with more endorphins than you’d get from a few hours in the gym, and all the stresses have dimmed to a dull whisper, thirty minutes of massage will make sure your muscles match the calm of your conscious.

A Swedish back, neck and shoulder massage can loosen up even the most highly-strung muscles and put a stop to their painful protests with skilled strokes of highly trained fingers. If it’s not your muscles committing mutiny, the Ubuntu Reflexology treatment can relieve a long list of other ailments, including any minor pains that might have escaped the grasp of the Floatation Therapy; balancing the Qi and the nervous system, they say Reflexology can also improve insomnia and fatigue. Perhaps, if you like your treatments more alternative than Electro-Funk Blues Rock music, the Reiki Healing session is more perfect than a model’s airbrushed complexion. Meaning ‘mysterious atmosphere’ Reiki uses the laying on of hands to transfer healing energy and energise the body and create a feeling of well-being.

Providing representatives from the entire spectrum of health and beauty professions, Cape Town Medi-Spa is the ideal location to shed the stresses of daily life. Conveniently nestled in the heart of Cape Town, you don’t even have to embark on an epic pilgrimage to get there.

Alternative Fact: Scientists in Berlin have recently developed an alternative therapy for curing baldness. By burning a paper mâché boat in front of a marble fire place and covering the scalp with the ashes, a full head of hair is said to grow within two weeks.