R55 instead of R200 for a moisturising treatment, cut, wash and blow-wave or flat iron at Simply Hair  (save 73%)

When those sciency balding, lab coat wearing and bespectacled blokes suggested that humans have 96% genes in common with chimpanzees, there’s something they didn’t consider. Chimps don’t get their hair done. The closest they come to this, is picking ticks off one another. A human enjoys going to the salon to receive a moisturising hair treatment, a lavish basin wash, cut and to have their revitalized locks skilfully blown out or flat-ironed, especially when available at a cost of R55 instead of R200 at Simply Hair.

A chimp will use a flat iron to incinerate fleas and to inflict third degree burns onto an unsuspecting zookeeper who didn’t put enough raisins in their breakfast fruit salad. A chimpanzee would enjoy going to a salon to lob hair curlers at the shampoo lady, to scale the towel rack and to squirt bleach at anyone trying to calm it down. This however, is not the idea of a hair salon for a human.

A bad hair day for a human is when your shampoo runs out and your hair dryer blows a fuse, forcing you to go to your sister’s wedding with half a comb stuck to your hair and a murder of crows circling the vicinity. Chimps bald early into their maturity, both sexes have beards and they grow grey hairs on their backs by the time they’re 20 years old. Chimps don’t have bad hair days. They don’t have good hair days either. And they’re not too fussed about getting married (which explains their extraordinarily low divorce rate).

Good hair days are hard to manage by yourself, however are natural in the human world. You could use your untrained hands and a two in one shampoo from the supermarket that claims to contain solid gold extract, at a cost of R24.95 but it’s hard to believe the bit on the label about “smoother, healthier hair after just three washes,” when you have to replace your hair brush every other day and fan away crows that are attempting to nest atop your head.

Bad Hair days are easier to manage when you are placed in the capable hands of a Simply Hair stylist. A bad hair day is also easier to avoid, when you’re donning an expertly cut and styled hairdo. If you’re keen on minimising those bad hair days or if any of your siblings are getting married then this is the perfect deal for you, if you’re not a monkey of course. 

Hair Fact: Whereas nose hairs are generally frowned upon, it is considered very appealing to the extremely traditional folks in the oldest villages of Eastern Europe. Nasal Braids, dreadlocks and bouffants are some of the most popular trends. In these villages is it not uncommon to find specialized nasal salons.