The older generation know a thing or two; they may be fibbing when they say pulling a funny face would cause it to stay that way, but their faith in ancient healing methods is truly founded. Today’s Groupon pays homage to ancient therapies with a full body stress and tension therapeutic massage including acupuncture and cupping at the Chinese Regiment Clinic for R159.
At the Chinese Regiment Clinic ancient Chinese herbal methods are used to heal you and rid you of stress and tension. The tranquil and relaxing clinic has trained therapists who will make you feel at ease and prepare you for your pamper session. Therapists will bring balance to your yin and yang with this full body stress and tension therapeutic massage which aims to relax tired muscles and minds. Every day stress from work and your quest to fulfil the last words of a dying wizard with a long grey beard often gets reflected in the form of pain and stiffness in muscles.
This tension restricts the supply of oxygen, leading to an accumulation of lactic acid and waste products in these muscles, in other words: a big no-no. After prolonged periods of stress, this results in soreness and pains causing you to clutch your back and yelp in pain like a 125 year old geriatric. With the Chinese Regiment Clinic full body therapeutic massage, stress is relieved through the manipulation of body’s soft tissues. The massage therapist will use their fingers, fists and feet to apply long, smooth strokes and kneading movements to improve blood circulation in the muscles. Not like Dance-Dance Revolution though; more caring and therapeutic. This myriad of strokes and kneading will bring in fresh nutrients, release accumulated toxins and strengthen muscles.
This Groupon also includes the ancient method of cupping, a treatment where a patient's skin and underlying tissue is sucked into a cup, resulting in the accumulation of blood in the area. Stagnant, pathogenic and toxic blood is then sucked out and removed from the body. This might sound a little odd but it is guaranteed to leave you eager to try cupping all over again. Cupping also has no side-effects and is not painful, so you won’t be calling out for your mummy.
Added to the cupping, today’s Groupon includes acupuncture. This therapy that uses needles, often triggering memories of evil doctors, scares some but that fear soon disappears once the benefits of acupuncture are seen. It has been proven to cure everything from tension to stuttering to the square root of pie. At Chinese Regiment Clinic, fine needles will be inserted into your skin at specific energy pathways, called meridians, which flow through the body to unblock the flow of energy. Acupuncture regulates the body's physical functions, balances the energy and restores health so you will feel chipper and ready to face your quest from that wizard.
In ancient Chinese culture the concept of yin and yang is also applicable to the human body, with the upper part of the body and the back assigned to yang, while the lower part of the body is believed to have yin character. Let today’s Groupon return balance to your chi to ensure a healthier more relaxed you.
Chinese therapy fact: A Chinese therapist in South Sudan used ancient medicines and acupuncture to fix the fractured wing of a Blackbird. Within a few days, the bird’s wing was healed and he flew off only to return in a catamaran; a gift of thanks for the Chinese therapist.