Even though Nosferatu was terrifying and best to be avoided, vampires nowadays are harmless and cute, and many seem to have had unfortunate run-ins with bags of glitter. Ensure that you’re not contributing to the harm of these mild-mannered creatures with a live blood analysis at IAMA Health and Body Clinic for R180.
Going to the doctor is great when you have the sniffles or something protruding from where it shouldn’t be; they give you some fancy-sounding antibiotics or remove the offending protrusions – or both – and then send you on your way. Unfortunately, you can’t be running off to the doctor whenever you’re feeling a bit down.
A live blood analysis is one of the leading ways to stop that do not want feeling before it can sink its germy little teeth into you. Logically, you know that if you bought a fish and put it into a tank of toxic water, your finned-friend is not going to be happy or healthy for long. Similarly, if your blood is infected with toxins or not the perfect shade of red, it can do all sorts of weird, wacky and horrifying things to your cells.
Normal peripheral blood tests only test samples of what is essentially your system’s road-kill, while the live blood tests looks at the way your blood behaves while it’s still alive. At IAMA Health and Body Clinic, they like to say that the analysis is not a diagnosis – it’s an examination of your body’s terrain, designed to pick up problems before they really have a chance to appear.
The innovative live blood analysis can pick up what you’ve been eating, drinking and doing in your spare time. If you’ve been chewing copper-pennies, it can pick up any heavy-metal toxicity or allergies; it also picks up any rebellious free-radicals crusading through your system, pillaging and otherwise wreaking havoc. The test also receives bonus points for being no more invasive than pricking yourself while sewing.
Even if you think you’re fit as a fiddle, taking vitamins and eating all your vegetables, there might be things going on in your blood-stream that would terrify even the most sea-hardened fisherman. Whether you’ve got the sniffles or haven’t seen the flu since kindergarten, the blood analysis can make sure you stay perky and full of vitality and healthy, good feelings.
AB Positive Fact: A health-insurance firm in northern Dakota has tried a new way to get young people interested in their policies; by offering policies like Haunted Playground for those who often find themselves with unexplained symptoms or Dracula for those who need frequent blood-tests, their policies are specifically tailored for those with a childish streak.