Too much sunshine when the weatherman predicted rain, burnt toast and flatmates leaving wet towels on the floor all have one thing in common; they all seem specifically designed to infiltrate and wrinkle your calm exterior, stressing you out and leaving your skin to bear the proof. Coat-check your stresses and get rid of the evidence with today’s Groupon; for a face, neck and décolleté microdermabrasion session, shoulder massage, galvanic high-frequency facial and skin assessment at Skin and Body Improvement Clinic for R269.
Whether it’s those irritating forehead furrows that act like your face’s own aqueduct system or skin that’s rougher than a hillbilly hit-man and duller than a two-watt light bulb, sometimes your face seems determined to ruin your day. Rather than turning to drastic measures like investing in a different cartoon mask for every day of the week, an afternoon in the Skin and Body Improvement Clinic promises to do just what it says on the tin. Staffed by a team of aestheticians with more experience under their stylish belts than the entire cast of an extreme makeover show and calmly nestled on Caledon road, the chic and trendy clinic is the perfect place to give yourself a bit of pampering and ensure your reflection gives you smiley feelings rather than the smash things type.
Like that co-worker who keeps trying to join for you lunch or the ex-snoochypoo who won’t leave you alone, dead skin-cells can be very clingy. This separation anxiety often leads to these needy cells adhering themselves to your face and making it look like your skin hasn’t seen a scrub in years. Better than kissing the beach and rubbing your face full of sea-sand, the microdermabrasion exfoliates away the top layer of clingy cells to leave your face, neck and décolleté smoother than a playboy’s pickup line and softer than a baby’s mashed-potatoes. Not only does it get rid of that rough layer of skin, it can reduce the appearance of scars and adolescence-induced pock-marks.
Exfoliating to the point of removing deep wrinkles would probably mean removing more than just the surface layer, deeper lines are given the metaphorical boot with a galvanic high-frequency facial. Like trying to feed broccoli to a toddler is usually met by flailing arms and high-pitched wailings, your skin often doesn’t absorb the nutrients it needs in a fit of you can’t make me. Though the high-frequency facial won’t be making choo-choo noises, it does help the skin to absorb the nutrients and can leave skin healthier, smoother and feeling rejuvenated.
Once you’re looking like you’ve just woken up from a long-catnap away from stress, a soothing shoulder massage will help you feel like it too. Skilled fingers can relax even the most mutinous of muscles and melt away knots and kinks quicker than ice-cream in microwave.
Before you make your grudging exit from the Skin and Body Improvement Clinic’s relaxing atmosphere, let the trained professionals give you their informed opinion of the state of your skin. Though this might sound like lining yourself up for a lecture on the cons of sunbathing, they’ll also give you some advice on how to make sure your dermis is well-cared for so you don’t need to turn to drastic DIY dermabrasion with a roll of sandpaper to keep your dermis looking fresh.
x Fact: Combining the feathers of a jungle duck, a handful of sawdust from a dictionary factory, and half a litre of blue paint can permanently remove wrinkles from the scalp.